Do's & Don’ts to organically developing New Friendships!

Believe it or not, there is an etiquette to almost everything in life... from eating dinner, to gaining new friends...!

Yes, there is actually a way to build relationships and specifically friendships.

I’ve been in the midst of dozens of women who talk about friendships, dislike friendships, desire friendships and want to develop friendships, but they really don’t know how to go about breaking into sister circles or just gaining one or two really good friends.

Well just as there are several “DO’s” to developing friendships, there are also several “Don’ts”; and one key to successfully developing friendships in life is to take a hard look at yourself before you call yourself getting into any kind of relationship, (yes, even friendships) with someone else. Not only could you sabotage the relationship but you could be setting yourself up for hurt and harm…. With all this in mind let’s get started on The “Do’s” and “Don’ts” to organically developing new friendships by first developing some self-awareness!

"If you find yourself not "Liking" the vibes & personality of people in your circle learn how to organically develop new friendships, don't push yourself on people! Remember you attract people & vibes of the same frequency as you! If you find yourself in relationships with a lot of negative people- take a hard look at yourself- & vice versa! If you want positive friends learn to focus on the positive & you will attract the positive! And don't just say you are focused on positivity but still do things in underhanded ways like stealing friends, trying to social climb, or bring negativity into a relationship! Just DON'T even entertain the vibe or language of it!!... Now here are the "Do's & Don'ts" to organically developing new friendships! 

1.      Do be authentic at all times. Basically Be yourself! If you aren't, remember the real you will come out at some point & you may lose those same friends you tried to gain. 

2.      Don't push yourself onto people. If people are interested in developing friendships with you it will happen organically. 

3.      Do remember it takes time. Just like the old saying goes, "anything worth having in life takes time to gain or develop!" 

4.      Don't try to social climb and put yourself in circles where even you are going to feel out of place. There's a place for everyone in life! With a little bit of soul searching you will find your perfect tribe soon enough! 

5.      Do put the time & effort into developing relationships! Yes, this means sacrificing time & other events to make room for them. Remember we make time for ANYTHING & EVERYTHING in life we really want to do; so if want true authentic relationships, make time for them!

In short, remember developing friendships is just like anything in life it is a learned concept, it doesn't always just happen with maturity. It has its own etiquette to doing it the right way!... But if & when it's done right, it can lead to a village of people who will go from friends to family for a lifetime!

As Always,

Remember, Relationships Do Matter!

Toinette Neube 

5 Dos & Don'ts to Build and Maintain Healthy Female Relationships!! It’s not Impossible!

I think most people know by now that I study and research (as a relationship counselor) and one might go as far as to say “Love” (as a friend) Relationships! I love meeting new people & building relationships (yes even in my own Introvert kinda way)!

Throughout the years, I’ve found that building new friendships take time & patience but here are a few do's & don'ts in building & maintaining them with one of the hardest populations I know; FEMALES!!

Building friendships with females can be a hard nut to crack. They can be exclusive when you are trying to get in and too inclusive when it comes to sharing each other’s secrets and matters of the heart!

But they are not impossible to build; and once you do build them, they can be more loyal than a dog to its owner!

List below are 5 Do’s and Don’ts for building and maintaining healthy Female Relationships!

1. If you want the friendship, Do stay connected even in the midst of your busy life! We all have busy lives, but we make time for ANYTHING we really want!

2. Don't discipline, correct or treat your friends like they're your kids or your husband, no one wants to be harshly spoken to, corrected & or chastised in any relationship. Watch your tone, language & delivery when you talking to people!

3. If your friend has voiced that you've hurt them Do say I'm sorry even if you feel you have done nothing wrong.

4. Don't be a Drama Queen! Everyone gets drained of drama every now & then! Life is NOT always about you! Learn to share the Glimmer, Sparkle & Shine in the relationship! AND

5. Do show your friends that you love & appreciate their presence in your life! It's okay to give a random gift or card every now & then or treat them to dinner every once in awhile!

You see in order to have friends you've got to show yourself NOT ONLY friendly, but accommodating sometimes, inconvenienced sometimes, vulnerable sometimes & transparent at ALL THE TIME!

I've been BLESSED with numerous AWESOME Girlfriends & those relationships didn't develop because we were selfish or self-absorbing! It rattles my heart when I hear women say, "I don't have female friends. I don’t get along with women, that's why I'm by myself or only have guy friends!" Well I hate to say it, but that's when you need to do some self checking! You should have at least 1 or 2 Girlfriends you can count on; and if you have a clan (like Moi) Well that's AWESOME!! I'm not saying you need a clan, but its healthy to have 1 or 2 you can count on to have your back & front when needed & vice versa!

Now husbands, male friends, boyfriends & significant others are GREAT to have in your life, of course; but my mother always said, "No one can NURTURE a women like another women!!!

So No, Ladies, it’s not impossible to have great female friendships and it’s even GREATER if you have a Girl squad like Taylor Swift or a Girl Clan or Gang! It’s not only healthy but it’s one of the best feelings in the world to have a group of like-minded women who support you in your endeavors in life… There is no better feeling!!!

So Ladies… Here's to GIRL POWER!!  Females UNITE!!! 

As Always,

Remember, Relationships Do Matter!

Toinette Neube