I think most people know by now that I study and research (as a relationship counselor) and one might go as far as to say “Love” (as a friend) Relationships! I love meeting new people & building relationships (yes even in my own Introvert kinda way)!
Throughout the years, I’ve found that building new friendships take time & patience but here are a few do's & don'ts in building & maintaining them with one of the hardest populations I know; FEMALES!!
Building friendships with females can be a hard nut to crack. They can be exclusive when you are trying to get in and too inclusive when it comes to sharing each other’s secrets and matters of the heart!
But they are not impossible to build; and once you do build them, they can be more loyal than a dog to its owner!
List below are 5 Do’s and Don’ts for building and maintaining healthy Female Relationships!
1. If you want the friendship, Do stay connected even in the midst of your busy life! We all have busy lives, but we make time for ANYTHING we really want!
2. Don't discipline, correct or treat your friends like they're your kids or your husband, no one wants to be harshly spoken to, corrected & or chastised in any relationship. Watch your tone, language & delivery when you talking to people!
3. If your friend has voiced that you've hurt them Do say I'm sorry even if you feel you have done nothing wrong.
4. Don't be a Drama Queen! Everyone gets drained of drama every now & then! Life is NOT always about you! Learn to share the Glimmer, Sparkle & Shine in the relationship! AND
5. Do show your friends that you love & appreciate their presence in your life! It's okay to give a random gift or card every now & then or treat them to dinner every once in awhile!
You see in order to have friends you've got to show yourself NOT ONLY friendly, but accommodating sometimes, inconvenienced sometimes, vulnerable sometimes & transparent at ALL THE TIME!
I've been BLESSED with numerous AWESOME Girlfriends & those relationships didn't develop because we were selfish or self-absorbing! It rattles my heart when I hear women say, "I don't have female friends. I don’t get along with women, that's why I'm by myself or only have guy friends!" Well I hate to say it, but that's when you need to do some self checking! You should have at least 1 or 2 Girlfriends you can count on; and if you have a clan (like Moi) Well that's AWESOME!! I'm not saying you need a clan, but its healthy to have 1 or 2 you can count on to have your back & front when needed & vice versa!
Now husbands, male friends, boyfriends & significant others are GREAT to have in your life, of course; but my mother always said, "No one can NURTURE a women like another women!!!
So No, Ladies, it’s not impossible to have great female friendships and it’s even GREATER if you have a Girl squad like Taylor Swift or a Girl Clan or Gang! It’s not only healthy but it’s one of the best feelings in the world to have a group of like-minded women who support you in your endeavors in life… There is no better feeling!!!
So Ladies… Here's to GIRL POWER!! Females UNITE!!!
Remember, Relationships Do Matter!