Building and Maintaining “A Loving Marriage/Relationship”!

This month on we are featuring a Contest! Well, so to speak! I’m not really the competitive type and the word “contest” suggests winners and losers, and in my eyes, we are all winners; (yup, I’m one of those people… give a trophy to all the kids who participated type of person) but basically, an essay should be submitted, a couple will be picked, and a prize will be won, so I guess that constitutes a contest!   

I’ve been blessed enough to have been married to my Hubby, My Hov, My Bae, My B, for 22 years now and we’ve been together for more than 25, and I have to tell you I am falling deeper in love with him every day! I know, I know, it sounds mushy, but it’s true!!! He still makes my heart pitter-patter at the sight of him and we both still laugh and flirt with each other like we just met!

Throughout the years we have had people admire our relationship, ask us how we stay so connected and how we keep the love alive after all these years? Well, I don’t believe in a one stop shop when it comes to building and maintaining a great marriage/relationship, so I can’t say we have one thing we do and do it well, but I can say we do several things all the time to keep the relationship fresh and alive! So, with that in mind, here are a few key tips that have kept our marriage and relationship loving for over 25 years!

1. Communicate: I know it’s the same old thing you’ve heard before; but guess what? It’s true! If you don’t communicate with your spouse it will not last! He’s got to know when you are happy, sad, angry, disappointed (etc.), and vice versa! But here is the caveat to that; you’ve got to know when you are happy, sad, angry, (etc) as well, so that you can effectively communicate that with him or her! Basically, you’ve got to know yourself too! If you don’t know who you are, how can you expect someone else to know you?!

2. Laugh: Here’s to praying that your relationship started out with laughter in the first place! If it did, please keep it up! To this day, Brian and I still laugh with each other everyday in some way, shape or form! Laughter really is medicine to the soul and to me it’s vital to the life line of a relationship!

3. Respect: You must learn to respect each other! Even though this one is more for the women than the men, (I’ll get to a man’s main responsibility in a minute) But Ladies never talk down, at, or against your husband, and men please do the same for your wives! If there’s one thing a man usually needs and desires, it is respect! A man is built on respect, respect from his friends, his colleagues and more importantly from his spouse! If a man can’t get respect from his home and those in it, then he will unconsciously and sometimes consciously desire to be in a place where he will get it, and sometimes that may be from another person.

4. Unconditional Love: Okay Ladies it’s your turn! Even though unconditional love is desired and needed by both partners in a relationship; women usually tend to desire and need the reminder that they are unconditionally loved more than men. The Bible tells us that men are to love their wives as Christ loves the church, and this, says it all! Christ loved the church more than He loved Himself, that’s why He gave His life up in the first place! So men, love your spouse more than you love yourself, give your life for her,… now that is unconditional love!

5. Romance: You have got to keep the sparks flowing, flying and forever fun! Keep each other satisfied and make it flirty and fun; continue to hold hands in public and in private (I emphasize in private too because it lets your spouse know you aren’t just doing it for show, and the touch is genuine even without an audience), continue to flirt with each other (in public and in private), continue to date each other, and continue to spice things up in the bedroom! Romance can be a touchy subject, but it is vital in most marriages; and it’s also another area of your marriage where communication is key because even in the bedroom, desires, wants, and even dislikes (discretely) should be communicated. Whatever you do, Keep the romance relatable (give each other what the other needs), and reliable (make it consistent)!

So, there you have it! 5 tips (not All Inclusive) on how Brian Neube and I Keep and Maintain “A Loving Marriage/Relationship!” No Marriage is failproof even if you do everything right, but always remember, as the old saying goes, as long as you have God at the center of your Marriage/Relationship, “Nothing is Impossible with God”; not even a “Perfect Marriage”, because it is “Perfect Enough For You”!!!

Love, Kisses & Teacups!

Always In His Grace!

Toinette & Brian Neube (We are ONE)