Why do we force things that don’t “fit” or work to stay in our lives; from shoes that are cute but too small, to relationships with men we know aren’t meant for us, to friendships that just don’t seem to work any longer.
I recently had a conversation with one of my girlfriends about this very subject, and in our conversation we both questioned why we were still friends with certain people in spite of how much drama or negative energy they brought into our lives.
Well, after some pondering and self-examination we came up with a few reasons for the self-betrayal; and our top three reasons were realistic but not enough to validate our suffering (for lack of better terms). The reasons we came up with were, 1. Longevity, they had been in our lives for so long until we just couldn’t just stop being friends with them, 2. Guilt, we felt guilty over being thought of as the mean person, and 3. Fear, we feared what the outcome of the breakup would do to our current lives and in the long run.
In the long run, Longevity would deem a good reason to keep someone in your life, but if they are toxic, draining and even dramatic, you must examine their place in your life. We must realize that life, changes, just as seasons, change, so why wouldn’t relationships change as well. Nothing can stay the same forever! Moving forward in life means growing and sometimes “outgrowing” people, places and things! The same way we physically move away from a town or state because the “town folk” can seem too small minded, sometimes we have to move people in and out of our life emotionally. Moving away from someone emotionally is just as effective as moving away from them physically; and may be even more effective, because you can physically move away from someone but still be in contact with them; where as, if you move away from them emotionally you probably have changed your mind about them and changing your mind, means changing your Life.
Guilt can be an emotional burden and an all around nasty word and no one likes to be or feel guilty about anything in life, especially when it comes to hurting someone. So in letting go of guilt when it comes to breaking it off with someone, just remember we teach people how to treat us and all the negative energy and drama you are allowing them to bring into your life, they are only doing it because you have allowed it. Now this doesn’t mean you have to break it off in a nasty or hasty way, sometimes baby steps can be just as effective as huge steps or changes; and doing it this way might even subside your guilt a little because it gives you time to deal with the issue in bites instead of chunks. But know this, you have two choices; you can either live with a little bit of guilt for a short period of time or live with the drama forever! Which do you choose?
Last but certainly not least, and possibly an evil twin to guilt, is fear. There are several acronyms out there for the word fear, but one of the most popular ones is False Evidence Appearing Real, and if you can use this acronym as words to live by then you will see that every reason you probably have for not “acquitting” (giving them and yourself freedom) someone is probably a false reason. For example you may fear that letting someone go may change your life in a negative way; well let me say this, I would almost bet my bottom dollar that if this person is bringing that much drama and negative energy into your life….then any change that happens to you after they have gone is probably a good or positive thing!
So In reality, there are times in our lives when we have to let go of things to create room for positive change, and sometimes that means letting go of things because they just don’t’ “fit” any longer. (Stop forcing those shoes to fit when you know they are way too small.) As I mentioned earlier, life, changes just as seasons, change, nothing in life is without change and relationships are no different. So if you are in a relationship that just doesn’t “fit in your life any longer, you must learn that if “It doesn’t fit, you must Acquit”! (Free yourself and them!)
Love, Kisses and Teacups!
Always In His Grace,